Saying Goodbye

It's usually hard to say goodbye. I've done it quite a bit this year. I said goodbye to Julie and Emily on New Years. I've said goodbye to my friend, Lisa, a few times while she goes off on TDYs. I said goodbye to Jer for a few months. I said goodbye to my friends and neighbors before I left for the States. I said goodbye to my German class. I had to say goodbye to my entire family (except Matt, who I didn't get to see) when I came back (actually a couple of times since I didn't get on the first few military flights I tried).
But there is one thing I'm VERY happy to say goodbye to: excess weight. It's a blessing and a curse that Prednisone can work so well. Because of it, I can become healthy and go into remission. But the months of taking Prednisone really pack on the pounds. I've done this medicine weight roller coaster countless times. With my body getting older, I think it is harder to lose it now than it used to be. Most women my age talk about losing their pregnancy fat. I talk about losing my Prednisone fat.
Usually after I'm done with a course of Prednisone, it will take me a few months to get my strength back and feel like a normal person. In that time, my weight will level off, meaning that I quit gaining. But then once I am feeling well and healthy, it takes so much effort to work those extra pounds off. I'm not just talking about 5 or 10 lbs. I've gained as much as 70 lbs in just a couple of months!
(If you want to see the difference in weight change, check out my previous post. That video was taken at the end of July. The picture you see now was taken today, sans makeup and cute hairstyle).
Honestly, I'm growing weary of it all. The thought of ever having to do this again is daunting. It's mentally tiring. While I hope I never have to take Prednisone again, and I can hope the best for myself, I'm also realistic and know I probably will have to take it again.
I truly don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. This is my struggle. But it's not who I am. I only write this because it helps me deal with things. If I write it down, I don't have to remember. And I don't want to remember. It's sort of like setting my mind free.
This post is written to celebrate a new, healthy me! So, goodbye old prednisone body, so long, tschüss, au revoir, ciao, adios and arrivederci to you--you unwanted reminder of being sick.
I AM FREE!